Wow. I’m not typically moved to write a product review. You’d think it would be for something special, right? Like it was because something was mind blowingly awesome, riiiiight? NOPE! This review is for a thing that is a total piece of shit. Well, hang on, let me back up. The physical pet feeder itself seems to be fine. So far. Other than it being entirely dependent on the App. But guess what *IS ACTUALLY* shit? You got it – the “app.” Or should I say, the ad. It’s entirely, completely, one giant advertisement full of dark patterns. Every other click pops a new Ad modal, with check boxes already selected – just waiting for you to accidentally “consent” to their up-charged subscription “care plan” for ONLY $10 per month. Charged annually, of course.

You can’t create a fucking feeding schedule without encountering this bullshit. Go ahead. Try.

I’ve already opened a request to return it. Support seemed pretty prompt – at least until I said the R word, now it’s the old fashioned “let’s delay a week and see if they cave, maybe they’ll keep the garbage we sent them.” It hasn’t even been in my possession for an hour and I am already looking for something else. I won’t accept this kind of blatant disrespect.

By the way, did I mention the device connects to WiFi *AND* it has a Microphone? I’ve set up a packet trace to see if it does anything ‘funny’ between now and the “3-5 business days to escalate to a supervisor” to return it… I’ll report back.

Fuck. Me.