It’s that time again! I got the dreaded email on the Sunday before a holiday (gee, thanks guys) that my biannual background check is coming due in the next 90 days. Do you think they’ll see my website when they go looking for my boogyman? Sometimes being openly opinionated has downsides… I’m hoping the investigator has a sense of humor because it’s the only way I’ll survive the real question: “Are you a weirdo or just really weird?”

Spoiler: I’m really weird.

And by weird, I mean I drizzle cheap maple syrup on white bread smeared with peanut butter, and eat it with a fork. Yes, it’s a culinary crime scene, but I swear the flavor combination is a masterpiece. If you’re offended, you’ve stumbled into the wrong place. It’s damn good. FIGHT ME!

Also, while you’re digging, I’m willing to offer ya a reward (as much peanut butter and syrup as you can eat) for finding any of my missing socks! I refuse to believe that dryer lint is actually their cremated remains. After all, the only thing worse than a missing sock is a missing sense of humor. 😉

Cheers!